Nowadays, the common statement is, “I won’t respect you because of your age, you have to earn it”.
Just a week ago, I had a conversation with a friend and this person highlighted how it has become so hard to trust people. In my mind, all through that conversation, I was trying to figure out, how we get to the point of trusting or distrusting people.
Let me ask you, ‘are there people you trust and do you have people you don’t trust?’ No matter your answers, have you ever taken the time to think through the reasons why you trust or don’t trust?
In this Coaching session, there is a definition about this topic that I will like to share; Trust is the “ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust”.
The keywords that stand out for me are the ‘ability to create’, ‘safe’, ‘supportive’ and ‘ongoing mutual respect’.
A Coach should have the ability to create, together with the Coachee, an environment – a relationship that feels safe for both of them.
The Coachee has probably come for the coaching session with some intentions – for some kind of support to achieve a goal. This is some trust in itself. For a Coachee to know that they need help and have chosen to work with a Coach means there is a level of trust.
The Coach isn’t trying to force the support to happen, but is also intentional to create an environment that makes the Coachee to continuously believe that the Coach can be trusted – in conversation, in support, yet respectfully.
Building that relationship means that it takes effort, it needs exploration and understanding the Coachee’s language and communication styles.
There are ways to break and make trust happen and it is important to learn about the two sides. These are not simple things and we need learn how to navigate how to build excellent relationships.
Ways to Break Trust In Coaching
-Disinterest: Ask yourself, how much interest do you have when you are with your Coachee?
Ways To Build Trust In Coaching
-Honour The Coachee: In Coaching, it is key to listen, mirror and ask deeper questions from the Coachee to gain insight into their uniqueness and talents.
As a Coach, it is important to value the Coachee’s comments and perspectives. It should be a zone of no judgment – choosing to believe in their possibilities (even before starting the coaching sessions).
-Supports and Shows Empathy For the Coachee
-Acknowledge The Expressions of the Coachee.
-Demonstrate Openness and Transparency: it is fine to ask for permission from the Coachee to share something that is connected to the current conversation. Nonetheless, let them speak more; rather make it all about you.
The coaching session is about the Coachee and building trust should be about helping them have the safe space to share and feel free to engage.
There are 3 pillars of Cultivating Trust and Safety.
Intention and Unambiguous: Why are you in this Coaching relationship with the Coachee? What is the purpose of this relationship? Stay on the path and be clear about the objectives or where the Coachee is trying to go. The intentions should be objective and free from every form of Agenda. It is important to know what the focus of the coaching is and stick to it.
Transparent and Respectful Partnership: It is okay to be vulnerable with the Coachee. It is like Iron sharpening Iron. Being transparent with one another and focusing on the development o the other person.
Unbiased, Clean and Concise Language – Words: clean words are a way of asking clear questions without making it tough for the other person to understand.
My Key Takeaway: Awareness is important when working with a Coachee and there is a need to have an ongoing check to be sure that the desired safety and respect is still valid.